Celebrating Life!

Today is a day of celebrations!!! Little does my boyfriend know how much thought and time has gone into tonight for him… I’m so excited! I had a hard time going to sleep last night because of it!!! He is the love of my life!!! My boyfriend is amazing, wonderful, and he is my sunshine!!! I’ve been sneaking around this week with his mom… It’s been so hard because I lied to him about no I was with yesterday… And it’s even funnier that his mom was lying also to cover up what we did, since we went and made him a cake Friday at this new place that Duff Goldman opened in West Hollywood called Duff’s Cakemix!!! It was so much fun!!! Here’s our result!!

It’s not perfect by any means but it was so much fun to do!!! We had such a wonderful time and got to spend seem girl time too! I know his mom hasn’t had a lot of girl time because she had boys! Lol! I love my boyfriend and I love his family! They are good people! They are so much fun! And they except me as I am… Which is one of the most amazing things in the world! Accepting yourself can be the hardest thing in the world and it feels so good when someone else completely accepts you!!!

Being happy, bright, carefree, loving yourself and life, is a wonderful thing that you can do… It takes time and that time is now. When else are you going to live your life brightly and love the one you’re with?? When else are you going to take life by the horns and say I’m doing this whether you like it or not!! I really ask these things more to myself then anyone else… I’m not living my life to the fullest, I’m not doing what I need to do to grab onto my life… But to celebrate life is something we all do everyday whether you realize it or not. Everyday we all wake up to the sun, or clouds, or rain, or the darkness in the early morning. Everyday is a blessing!

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Overcoming Sorrow

So this week it’s been hard for me to write in my blog here. I think I have finally figured out why. This weekend my boyfriend and I are going out to dinner with his mom and brother (whom I love dearly) at the same time we are celebrating someone who was important to us all. It’s going to be lots of fun I’m sure but it’s also going to be hard to do since this is the first birthday that we are going to have without him. Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you and throwing things in your way when you don’t expect it. I’m excited to celebrate, but at the same time I’m not excited. Losing someone is one of the hardest things to do.

There are many times I think of this person that we all lost. I’ve got one of my favorite pictures that has all of us in it. I love that picture and it was the last time we were all together. I don’t usually get so nostalgic about these things, it’s an amazing feeling when I can. I miss him. I loved him. I talked to his brother today and it’s so fun that I’ve gotten this connection I didn’t know that I would. I love it! It’s amazing how much of my boyfriends family has come into my life. I never really thought about how many he’s got in his family. I don’t know how we all survived our lose but we did, and we all move forward but we are all remembering this weekend.

So I know that this picture has a question mark after it but I think it should be an exclamation mark instead. Thinking about how much I miss someone is an easy thing to do and also a hard thing to do. Life isn’t the same after that special someone isn’t here anymore. Sometimes though that person can have an impact in your life that you never knew they did. I was excepted and loved, there was no question about it. I was cared for and I felt the very same about him. When I heard the news I was crushed, it was kind of sudden but at the same time it wasn’t. Life is different without this man in our lives. I know that he might not have realized how important he was. But I am sure he knows now. I know that God has a funny way of blessing us and taking care of us, sometimes the impact people have in our lives is a special message from God Himself. But the love that we all feel for our man who was lost will always be there. And the love that he felt for all of us I hope we always feel.

The grief we feel will always be apart of us, we moved forward, and we remember who he was when he was taken away from us to be in a better place. Life moves forward and the ones that we’ve all lost through life are still with us. Remembering the good and the bad, but always remembering the best part of that special person in our life that was so dear to us!

I’m Being Me

There are so many people who live in their own little worlds, and looking at this saying it’s so true about some of us girls… I know I love to live in my own little fairytale. In my head I live in the best fairytale ever! I know that it’s not always perfect and there are always problems that seem to arise. I’m always fighting the evil queen or the evil witch that comes out when least expected. There are so many things that run through my head, and then I’ve got to listen to my heart and remember who is there to love me and rescue me from myself sometimes. My boyfriend is my Prince Phillip, for those of you who don’t know it’s Sleeping Beauty’s prince, my boyfriend loves me and takes care of me. My family also rescues me and saves me too, they are just always there for me.

I just had to share this picture, one day when I’ve got my act together I’m going to have a picture taken of me like this! I want this so badly! I just love the sentiment of it all, the glitter, glitz, and the glam! It’s just an amazing picture that I want to replicate! I’ll have to ask my wonderful friends who take pictures to help me get this one done! It just says so much without saying anything! It’s fantasy! To me it says hope, fun, extraordinary, flashy and just lots of joy! Everyone that I know could always use some extra joy in their lives! I love to be happy, joyful, and singing at the top of my lungs when I am happy beyond all get out! LOL! Life has a funny way of showing you happy and sad, then giving you back you’re happy!

Sometimes even though your getting to where you want to be, the most rewarding part is getting there! Like making cookies the cookie dough is always the best part of the cookie making process. I don’t care what anyone says it’s the truth! I love the cookie dough and the labor that goes into making it, is its own reward. To make cookie dough you need to have all the right ingredients to have them taste right, and you always have to sample what you make so that you can make sure they taste right. It’s like if you mix up the baking power with baking soda (maybe it’s the other way around) but you get what I mean. Those cookies won’t be eaten! They just get shot down the trash can!

What I was saying above I don’t want to just throw myself away and there are times I feel like I am because I know I’m not living up to my full potential right now. Especially with my Mary Kay work that I need to, and want to be doing. I love what I do when I’m doing my Mary Kay I know that being accountable to myself and to my accountability partner is a big step in getting things moving and it’s a scary thought that I can do this amazing thing and be an inspiration that I want to be to other women. But I know to be happy with me I need to be me, I need to push myself, I need to engage people to make their lives better!

Be amazing, be yourself! Make the choice to live better and get into Mary Kay! Click the pic above to check it out! ❤

Successful??

I need to super-size my life! I have to stop procrastinating and move forward with everything! I want to be proud of myself, I want to make my boyfriend proud of me. I want my family to be proud of me… I don’t know if I need recognition for everything I do, but I know that I love to have recognition if I can get it. I know what I need to do to succeed but it’s a scary thought to be successful, and scary not to be successful. It’s kinda a catch twenty-two, I want to be successful but I also know that I need to work my ass off to get myself taken care of and make the money I want to!

Being myself isn’t always an easy thing to do, I’ve learned over the years to get better and better at being myself. Everyone is good at being their-selves if they just put their minds to it. I love when I can be myself and have fun and just live. Sometimes its scares me to live though, some people it seems don’t think about how scary it can be to be yourself. And yet being myself isn’t as hard as believing in myself. It’s not an easy thing to move forward and just believe you can do it. What’s the last thing you did that you believed you could do it and you did! I remember quitting my job and knowing I could make it with Mary Kay. I know I can make it, I just have to believe I can.

I look at this quote by Reba and I think I have all of those things inside of me, how do i find them?  I have a wishbone, I have a lot of wishes and dreams that haven’t come true yet. I have a backbone, I’ve stood up to people who were wrong more then I can remember. I have a funny-bone, I sometimes don’t realize I have it but I do, it’s not until I say something and everyone laughs that I realize there’s my funny-bone! If I could just move all of those things together I could do what I want to and what I need to get myself going. Reba has always been one of the best women I know to look up too. She has lived through and survived so much more then one person ever could. I can thank my father for introducing me to her music. She’s a country girl who made her dreams come true.

Again I fall to Cinderella, Click the pic above to live your dreams like I am trying to do! Mary Kay has a special this month of $75 to join and start your Cinderella dreams!

Amazing Family

Family means

1. a. A fundamental social group in society typically consisting of one or two parents and their children. b. Two or more people who share goals and values, have long-term commitments to one another, and reside usually in the same dwelling place.  2. All the members of a household under one roof.  3. A group of persons sharing common ancestry.   4. Lineage, especially distinguished lineage. 5. A locally independent organized crime unit. 6. a. A group of like things; a class. b. A group of individuals derived from a common stock: the family of human beings. 7. Biology A taxonomic category of related organisms ranking below an order and above a genus. A family usually consists of several genera. 8. Linguistics A group of languages descended from the same parent language, such as the Indo-European language family. 9. Mathematics A set of functions or surfaces that can be generated by varying the parameters of a general equation. 10. Chemistry A group of elements with similar chemical properties. 11. Chemistry A vertical column in the periodic table of elements.  1. Of or having to do with a family: family problems.  2. Being suitable for a family: family movies.

So I looked up what family means and this is what I got! There’s so many things there! I never thought of family as anything but my mom, my father, my stepdad, my stepmom, my sisters, my brother, my boyfriend, his mom, his brother, my grandparents, and my best friends. My family is big and sometimes confusing to those who don’t know it. But the people in my life are a amazing! I love having my family around me! I forget sometimes how spoiled I am to have them all in my life! I was with my mom, dad, sisters, their husbands, and my grandparents this weekend. They are amazing and so much fun to be around! Both of my sisters got married last year and one of them had cupcakes at their reception, when the woman who made them put them out she noticed that one was missing… We all knew my grandfather had taken the cupcake cause he was sitting there “minding his own business” when one disappeared. My grandma didn’t believe that he had taken the one cupcake she was like I got him his cupcake and I looked at her and said that doesn’t mean it was his only cupcake! LOL! Grandma then looked at Grandpa and said did you take her cupcake before the wedding??? I’ve never seen grandpa so red and he was laughing and trying to eat at the same time! Grandpa finally admitted after almost a year that he stole the cupcake! And we all just about fell out of the chair laughing, Grandpa says I never thought anyone could embarrass me! It was great! My family is amazing! I love them!!

My family gives me strength to be myself and to believe in myself. My family loves and cares about me and what am I am doing in my life. I’ve been blessed to have the family I do. I know that there aren’t many people who are blessed like I am. I feel very sad for those who don’t get to appreciate the love and joy I’ve been given in my life. My family is a bright spot in my life! They always have been even though I know I haven’t always been the brightest person in theirs. They have chosen to love me and care for me and keep me in their lives!

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Being Grateful

I’ve been struggling to be grateful for what I have, gratefulness isn’t hard when you think about all the things that I do have. I’ve got a wonderful family, an amazing boyfriend, an wonderful second family through my boyfriend, and amazing women that are in my life through Mary Kay! I’ve got a lovely apartment to live in, and I’ve got some great things around me. I’m grateful for everything that I have, including the life I grew up in, as much as I might complain to my mom or my dad about it, I had a life that can be considered better then some. I can’t complain much but I know I wasn’t an easy child for my mother.

I believe in myself to a certain extent, I know that if I put my mind to something I can do it. But it goes back to my obstacle of myself and when I don’t try to believe in myself then I don’t succeed. There are so many things to accomplish and to do in my life. I want to make so much more of myself and I know I’ve said this before. Just going and doing things is a hard thing to do for me, going on and on about things I want to do, I’ve got to know I can do them first before I do them. I’ve always been the kind of person that needs to know that I can do things before I do them.

Following your bliss is not an easy thing to do for everyone. I think I fear my bliss, I want to know that my bliss is really what I want it to be. How do you know what your bliss is? How do you find your bliss? I know that with my Mary Kay I love the product, I love the women that are apart of my life because of it. I know that there are things I want to do along with Mary Kay like some crafts that I’ve found that would be fun to do. I’ve got so many interests it almost feels like I’ve got adult ADD… I know I don’t and I think it can be diagnosed to much… But I know there are some who are really ADD… Ok sorry for my side note! LOL But back to the life that I want to build and to make… I want to make so much more out of my life. I’d like to have the money to pay for my rent so my boyfriend wouldn’t have to worry about it for the month! It’d be amazing to tell him that I was paying for rent this next month! I don’t know what he’s say or do. I think it might shock the hell outta him! LOL! And maybe I’d get a ring around my finger, but we’ll have to wait and see.

Life is funny it makes things so clear sometimes and sometimes its so difficult. I’m going to try to remember to be grateful every day for all that I have and all that I’m waiting to make in my life. 🙂

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What’s your Grace?

Have you ever wondered what Grace is? This is the definition that I found in a dictionary, a :unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification b :a virtue coming from God c : a state of sanctification enjoyed through divine grace. There is so many meanings to the word Grace. How do I as a woman make my way into being Graceful, or just having Grace. I know it’s a lot to wonder but I want people to see me in a wonderful light, not just in a regular light. It’s a strange thing to think about, how do you find Grace? I know that as being a Christian that God’s Grace is given to me, but how do I know that I am being a Graceful person.

Is it as simple as smiling at someone? Is it as simple as just being who you are?

This quote says so much! I know that with Grace and dignity and just plain gumption I can do this! Looking more into my heart and finding what I want more and more. I always know that I can do something but it’s a matter of that thing inside me that holds me back. My heads so full of crap and holding me back. When you make up your mind to do something you’ve got to remember to not listen to what your brain says. I have that problem so much so it holds me back. I need to learn to listen to my heart more, my heart has lead me many places the best place is where I am now with my boyfriend. My heart has also healed from the scars that have been left on it.

I’m dreaming it, I’m wishing it, I’ve just got to do it… I’m planning on doing more and more… The more I work on myself and work on my work for Mary Kay the better my business can get and the better my business will be going! I’m trying so hard to move where I want to be, just doing it isn’t usually in my vocabulary I’m just not that person. I learned about personalities and about how they work, I took a DISC personality test it was interesting to learn about myself, and what my personality says about me.

This says so much about my Mary Kay and how I want to be! I believe in PINK!!! I’ve always loved the color pink and now I work, live and breath PINK!! MK is all pink colors for their packaging, but it’s a prettier pink now. It’s a beautiful light pearlized pink! I can’t wait to be able to earn the Pink Caddy! I’ve got to really buckle down though so I can! I want a free car that I can earn through Mary Kay! It’s not easy but I know that I can do it!!

One day I’m going to get here also! Laying over the water in Maldives! And MK will help me get there!!! I can’t wait!!

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Finding Adventure

I’m choosing to own my own wings and growing more and more everyday… I’m beyond the age, I think, to be floundering the way I am right now. I have been floundering too much lately, I want so much more from life then I’ve got right now. Finding my wings to achieve my dreams hasn’t been an easy thing, stepping outside of my comfort zone isn’t easy at all. And to step out of my comfort zone is a very hard thing to do. I’m not one who usually to step out and make my way with all the things I’m doing. I love to make my own ways sometimes when it’s something I know I can do. My fear of doing things wrong tends to hold me back.

Bravery, courage, and the drive are an amazing thing when you have them. I have all of these things in me and I know that I want to use them, I just haven’t tapped into my potential of me. It’s like when I got my belly button pierced, I was brave and I had courage, even though I was going to pass out when the girl was doing it… I had to take a deep breath and my cousin got me a coke, or let me have some of hers, but it was a very brave and crazy thing that I did. To tap into that courage and bravery is an amazing thing, it took me so long to be able to get my piercing. And then it took me about a year before I got my tattoo, that one I did with my sister and we had a blast! Again though I had that moment of bravery and courage, so I know it’s in me. I just have to tap into it.

I want my life to be full of adventures, and full of life. I love my family and the adventures I’ve had with them, like the cruise we all went on in 2006. It was so much fun and so much adventure for that week. It was nonstop! I love weeks like that and then coming home and just relaxing. There are places I want to go and places I want to visit. My dream beach right now is Maldives!!

I mean look how amazing this is!!! It’s a place in my dreams!! I’ve been dreaming about being on this beach with my boyfriend! It would be beautiful and amazing!!! I love the look of this place and the feel of it from my dreams it feels amazing!

Can you just imagine?? I can!! 🙂

Click the pic above!! You’ll be amazed at the products there!!

Scars

This is such a real thing in my life. I’ve got a scar that’s on my forehead from a car accident, it’s goes down into my eyebrow. Not everyone can see it though and it’s always visible to me when I look in the mirror. I always think that’s it’s worse then it is. I know that everyone has scars either emotionally or physically. I also know that I’ve got both emotional and physical. Scars can leave a huge mark like the one on my forehead, or they can leave no mark at all except the one on our hearts that they leave behind.

There are people who have had divorces in their families, and there are are people who have been abused, and people that have had their hearts broken by the ones that they thought they loved. It’s amazing how much hurt that one person can take before they will just walk out. When you think you’re in love, sometimes it can just be an infatuation. But the true love the one that leaves your heart soaring every time you see that person or think about that person is an amazing love.

When you’re in love it’s the best feeling in the world. But when you’re heart is broken you can feel like you’re dying. But to have a healed heart and being able to move forward with you’re life and with you’re love is the best thing ever! Living with the scars that were made on your heart is the biggest part of life that we all were never told about as kids. The scars that I grew up with had to do with my parents getting divorced, my life seeming like it was out of control, because it was out of my control. I became a very big control freak because of it, I’m so glad that I’ve eased up on that. Although there are sometimes when I feel like I can control those things around me, when I can’t. I try not to control everything around me anymore.

Life has funny way of throwing things your way. Then knowing that you can’t change the past, but you can move forward and change the future. Living life to the fullest extent and making sure that you never regret what you do! When you have regrets then life doesn’t seem like it’s going well. That’s living in the past and not moving forward. My life hasn’t been easy, but at the same time it’s not been overly hard. Life has thrown me a curve ball or two but I always pick up the pieces of my life and of my heart. I know that moving on is part of life and looking at the things that can happen. It’s amazing that I made it this far in life. I sometimes wonder how my amazing mom put up with me and survived with me. I know I wasn’t the easiest of kids. I know she loves me and cares for me though, otherwise I wouldn’t be where and who I am today!

There are just days in my life where letting go is hard to do. I’ve cleared my heart and my mind is still going it’s not so much fun. When you’re up until all hours and make things seem harder then they are because you’re thinking to much. Let it go. Forget about it! LOL!

Life can be lots of fun! Remember that!!

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Love

I see this quote and it makes me think of my unit leader Rebecca, she is the kind of woman I want to be! She has accomplished so much in the last two years with her Mary Kay. I’ve been working today it feels good to be able to accomplish something. I want to be that kind of woman that people look up to. When I have my children I want them to love me and look up to me. I want them to appreciate me for what I have accomplished, and what I have done with my life for them and their father. I love the people who are in my life and the people who love me back. They are the most amazing people! My mom is one of my heroes also! She raised me well, I don’t know how she did it, but somehow I became a wonderful person if I do say so myself! 😉

Love has always filled my life even when I don’t think so. Love is one of the best things there is in life! This saying is so correct! Love makes the world go round, I once heard that Love is the sister of hate… It’s weird to hear that and think about it. Is it true? Some people would say yes but others would say no. Love and Hate are on such opposite spectrum’s that is makes you wonder how someone could come up with something like that. But if we all had more love then hate we’d all have a better life and time in life. I opened my heart to so many people, some of them broke my heart, and some of them are my best friends. It’s kind of amazing how this can happen. I can’t say my childhood was the best, but I can say I’m the best me I can be for it. Although I’m still working on myself in general but to love is the best thing I’ve found. I love my life, my boyfriend, my family, and my friends. My best friends don’t judge me for being me.

I don’t always get to talk to my best friends but when I do, I love to hear and see what’s going on in their lives. Friends that support and care about you are the most amazing people. Sometimes it’s hard to find the ones that will support you no matter what, but when you do you need to hold on those friends no matter what happens. There will be times when you have to let go and let them live the way their going to without you. And that’s ok, sometimes distance is a good thing. I have a hard time letting go of the people who are important to me especially when the people I love don’t do what I think they should. But I have to remember it’s not me, and even if I don’t agree with everything, I’ve got to buck up and get things the way they were. Or I need to just breath and let things settle down some. Loving someone even as a friend can be hard sometimes, and giving them space can be even harder.

To all my friends past and present thank you for being in my life! Thank you for your love and support. Thank you for being you and letting me be demanding enough to have you be in my life.

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