Beloved

Thinking about Valentines which is coming up this Friday! It’s the first Valentines that I’m a wife!! It’s the first of many Valentines Days that I will be a wife!! And maybe next year I’ll be able to say that we are going to be parents… We’ll see how that goes! Lol! But back before I went on a tangent, I’m excited to celebrate Valentines Day. I’m excited that it’s on a Friday this year! And I’m loving that I don’t have to look for, or not have a date this year. I mean I’ve had my husband in my life for the last 4 years but now the change is that he’s given me his last name, I’m his and he is mine.

There’s a Bible quote of I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine. I love that quote! It’s in Song of Solomon 6:3, it’s just a part of the verse but it’s always been something I’ve loved hearing, or reading as the case may be. I’ve always loved seeing that on rings or necklaces. It has such an amazing meaning. I mean to look at someone and know that they are your one and only. Beloved means dearly loved, also it means a much loved person. My husband is my beloved. He has no idea how much he is loved by me! I try to tell him every chance I get!

I just find this to be a fun phrase. I’ve had other relationships other then my husband, but I’ve never loved someone the way I love him. He’s the most special person in my life. I can’t say we are perfect, but I can say we are perfect for each other. As I was saying earlier I am looking forward to Valentines day so I can spend it with my beloved. As you can tell I’m a bit excited!!

But remember even if you haven’t found your beloved, someone is out there for you! Life has a funny way of having someone turn up when you least expect it!

Grieving

I’ve had friends who’s touched my heart these last few weeks, both of these people have lost the most important people in their lives. One had his partner not make it, and the other had her husband pass away from cancer. Both of these loved ones were way to young to be gone from their lives. It just reminds me of grief and the sorrow we feel when people leave us. There is more then one way people leave us but death is a very serious and sad thing and it touches all of us.

The memory of someone we love will always be with us. It’s amazing how many times my best friend from high school comes to mind. She has passed away also, I miss seeing her and hearing her voice. I felt so guilty when she passed away cause I wasn’t really talking to her at that time. She had gone into the Air Force and was serving our country. She looked amazing before she left, and I knew she had struggles with her family. It seemed like she was excited and ready to move on. My favorite memory of her was when we were on Oregon visiting my Auntie. She and I had been spending way to much time together and driving each other crazy! So we got in a fight and we had an arrangement with my mom and auntie that if we cooked they’d clean the dishes. So we started fighting, luckily my family had all left, I have no idea what we were fighting about, I walked out yelling at her and her yelling at me, but I had an egg in my hand and I was tapping it lightly as we yelled at each other. She finally realized what I was doing and was like what are you doing? To which I replied well the directions say two eggs lightly beaten. We both fell apart laughing.

Memories of those people will always be in our lives. I will always remember my best friend from high school. I also will remember my grandfathers who have passed away as my grandmothers who have passed away. Also. My father in law who passed away about 2 Christmases ago. I didn’t know him as well as I would’ve liked, nor did I get spend as much time as I would’ve liked too, but I loved him all the same. He raised my amazing husband into the wonderful man he is now.

It’s not always easy to move on and move forward in life but you have to when the time is right for you. You have to remember to be yourself and move forward at your own pace. If you move to fast you’ll never move forward in the way you want too. And if you think you’re moving to slow you might be. But you have to remember to move forward for yourself and not move forward or on for others. Others aren’t you, others can’t tell you what you’re heart is feeling, others can’t help you exist after things change. Just move forward at your own time and somehow you’ll survive.

Your heart will ache. Your memories will be with you the rest of your life. Your body will feel like you can never move again. But somehow, someway you will survive and you will move forward. Don’t ever think of it as moving on. Just remember you’ll move forward!

Magic of Life

I love what this quote says about magic and finding it in our world. I love to look at the world and people around me and try to find some magic! I mean I look at babies and I know they are God’s creation and they are His gift to us… But they are magical at the same time… Life is such an amazing thing in general! To hold a baby in your arms and just snuggle them, looking at their fingers and toes… It makes me wonder how anyone could not believe God doesn’t exist? Babies any kind of babies are a blessing, magical and a miracle all on their own.

I know fairies probably don’t exsist, but have you ever wondered where the stories come from? I mean who thought of a fairy to begin with? There’s the ever famous Tinker Bell and I of course love her! And there’s a movie that was made years ago that about some girls who took a photo of fairies and the photo was deemed real in the movie. It was called Fairy Tale: A True Story. I love that movie, it’s a prime example of how people can end up believing what they see in a picture.

Magic is something to me that happens when you love someone. It felt like magic on Christmas two years ago when my husband proposed, I wasn’t sure it would happen. But it did and he is the best part of my life. Magic happens when you least expect it, just like love does!

Sometimes you have to work for your magic and other times it just falls and hits you on the head without you expecting it! My life has taken unexpected turns each time I look around, but the best turns happen when you’re not looking! I want so much more then we have now.

I know I’ve mentioned the movie The Notebook before and I will mention it again and again! Thy movie is the best!!! It makes me cry every time! And I love the way that Ryan Gosling’s character loves his wife and puts up with everything and tells her when she is wrong and loves her anyways. Just to me is part of that magic of life!

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Dreaming bigger

So I’m sitting here and wondering what I should write. I want to be writing and letting my thoughts out, but I guess that my thoughts are going to many ways at once! Lol! I know it seems weird, seems weird to me also. I want so much from life, I want to run with life and fulfill my dreams and those dreams my husband has!

I have big beliefs and I like to think that I have even bigger dreams! I keep being told by my Mary Kay family that if your dreams don’t scare you they aren’t big enough. I feel scared to dream that big. I mean how can a dream you want scare you? And how can you live for that dream?? And what happens if you don’t get the dream you are dreaming???

I guess there comes a point in your life when you have to sit down and realize how much you really truly want something! How much do I want to get out of debt? How much do I want to be able to pay bills on time? How much do I want to be able to have a new car? How much do I want to be able to buy a house? And how much do I want to be able to stay home with my kids? (When I have them of course! 😉)

I want to inspire those people around me. I need to make more time for the people I want to be around and near. I need to move forward and keep pushing even when I don’t want too. Finding myself and my longing for more out of life takes a lot for me. I love that I’m married! I love my husband and I can’t wait to have his kids!

My absolute favorite movie of all times!! Makes me cry every time!! I can’t wait to have my kid(s)! I can’t wait to live the rest of my life with my husband! I want to grow old and be able to have my husband as my forever!

I can’t wait for our new CC foundation!!

2014 is Here!!

I can’t believe that 2013 is gone!

It’s been a while since I have written… I know, I know it has been a longer then I wanted it too be. Between getting married!! The honeymoon! Thanksgiving, and Christmas!! Idk where the time went! Lol!

I still can’t believe it has been 4 months since we got married! All the planning that went into our day! The 10 months seemed to go by so slow, and then it was like all of the sudden everything fast forward… I was so nervous on the night before and the day of! I chose to spend the night away from my husband so we wouldn’t see each other the day of the wedding until I walked down the aisle… My dress was my grandmas dress from when she got married 60 years ago, I added my own touches of having it expanded cause she seemed to be a toothpick. I also have more boob then my grandma did, I added lots of sparkle to the dress also. I was working on that until the week of the wedding. I was afraid I wouldn’t get it done! All of the crystals you see on my dress, I put on myself. Our ceremony was short and sweet, and the reception was fun with dancing and food that was divine. We were so tired when we got home we just zoned out.

We went to Walt Disney World! I was so excited that he agreed to go there…. I love Disneyland here in California, but to go to Florida and have an amazing trip that did not cost as much as I thought it would. I’m telling you now if you do Disney World with or without the kids (we don’t have kids yet) get the dining plan! OMG!!! All the food they give you is nuts! They feed you a main course, dessert, and a drink. At the hotel they also gave us a refillable mug that we could use anytime but we usually used it at dinner and got the drink with our dinner as a bottled water we took back to our room. We did a 6 night stay, with a 5 day park hopper passes, the funny thing is though we didn’t park hop at all! We just went to one park a day but relaxed on one of the days and did Downtown Disney. So much fun. Although I got sick two days before the wedding, and I got worse on the honeymoon, we didn’t rent a car cause they have all sorts of ways to get around. From buses to water taxis, it’s amazing what a little city Disney World is! I loved it!!! I can’t wait to go again, but hopefully without being sick! 😀 Oh and I got my husband in Mickey ears even if it was just for the picture!

Just had to share that last picture, it’s so much fun that they can do this and put Tinkerbell and the different characters into your photos! They had one of Stitch somewhere but we missed that one I think that one was the Animal Park. Not sure though.

As you can see from the picture above I put a Santa hat on our Blu. He hated it, and it was a little to big for him until I cut the Velcro that held the elastic together and tied it tighter so it would stay, he wasn’t happy about it. I love our kitty, I keep telling my husband that I love that he let us have him. Blu is a joy in our lives and makes us smile all the time. He’s such a talker I’ve never had a cat that talks as much as he does. We walk in the door of our apartment and he is meowing while we walk up the stairs, I swear he watches for us while we are gone. I got him some cat grass to see if he would like it, and he does! So I think I’ll keep getting him some the kind I got him it grows quickly, and it’s fun to watch him eating at it and checking it out wondering what it is.

I know this is kind of a longer post then I normally do. If you’ve read the very first post I did on here you know that my name means honeybee. Life has changed the last year in a big drastic way. I have a husband, I’m a married, claimed, and loved woman! There were times I thought that would be impossible, but it ended up that God just had a different plan for me. I’m 35 years old, I thought I’d be married and have kids long before now. But it wasn’t in my cards, my love, my heart was waiting for me and I didn’t even know it. God has a funny way of giving you the best blessings of your life when you least expect it!

So Much Time and Yet So Little

This new year has just begun, and yet it’s almost the end of the month of January! How does time go so quickly?? I look back on my life and growing up, and how time seemed to take forever to go by… And now time flies like tomorrow is already gone! I have so. Much happening this year and I am so excited!! I am getting married, I am planning my wedding and figuring things out! I’m making my Mary Kay business work for me the way I always wanted it too!! There is just so much in life going on!! I love how life is going so far this year!!!

I am so excited for this year and the amazing year I am going to try to stay excited!! I know the wedding has me very excited!! The wedding is 266 days away!!! That seems like so long but at the same time with the way time flies now days it will be here in the blink of an eye!! I am so excited to be able to say my fiancé is my husband!!! I have the so many things that are needed in the planning and I have something’s done already! I have my flowers picked finally! I have my ceremony and reception picked out, my colors picked out. There is so much more to do! Thank God I have got some more time!!!

I am making this year my year!!! I have already had my boyfriend become my fiancé! My wedding is going to be amazing!!! I am taking control of my life, I am taking care of my joy, I am taking care of my love and taking care of my heart! My fiancé is the love of my life! He is my heart, and my shoulder to lean on when I need it… He supports me and takes care of me! He is the best part of my life!

I have found my someone and it took me longer then I expected, but I when I least expected it my fiancé came out of the darkness and became my light, he is my sunshine!! I can not wait for him to be mine for the rest of our lives! I am taking our lives further and moving us forward! I am making my stand so I can make our lives better!!

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Wedding Emotions

There’s so many emotions that go into planning a wedding, I never really thought about it… I am having a hard time tonight when I am saying what I want and being told that everything is too expensive. It’s hard to find a way to plan and get everything I want. The fact is my dream wedding would be at Disneyland in front of the Sleeping Beauty castle but the fact is I don’t have the money for that… So instead I’m having a wonderfully amazing wedding at my parents church. I can not wait to be able to say I have a husband… It’s been so hard to change my boyfriend to my fiancé!!! I love being able to call him my fiancé…

After being with my fiancé for 2 and a 1/2 years it so amazing that we are taking this next step!! I can’t wait to be walking down the aisle towards him!! I feel so overwhelmed with all the plans I’m making and things I’m trying to get done… I love the Knot.com it has such great ideas, and it also gives me plenty of things to look at I almost think its too much sometimes!! And the emotions of the wedding and planning, the emotions of going through all the motions of trying to make everyone happy.

Looking at all the choices for the wedding, flowers choices are nuts, I don’t want to have flowers flown in from anywhere… But figuring out which flowers I am wanting is so hard… I have months to plan the wedding I want to have. The wedding that will make my fiancé happy, because he means so very much to me!! Trying to figure out the prices for everything and where to have the rehearsal dinner, and what food to have at the reception! You never really think about these things until its your wedding… I helped to plan one of my good friends weddings and we planned that in a month for her, after doing that I wanted a longer engagement so I could plan things right for me.

The photographer, the caterer, the appetizers that we both want… How do we choose, and how do we make up our minds??? How do I keep from going out of my mind??? Lol!!! I found some amazing things that I’d like to do for my wedding, and make this the best wedding ever!!! Simple, elegant with bling! Bling or sparkle as the case maybe is always the best!!! The more bling the better!!! I can’t wait to get started on my dress putting together! And how fabulous my girls will look!!!

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Wedding Fever

I’ve got wedding fever!!! He has proposed!!! I’m so excited to be my fiancés wife!!! I can’t believe he proposed!! Those are all the thoughts that run through my head over and over again!!! I’ve been planning our wedding already!!! We are having a October wedding!!! I’m hoping to plan everything early and I’m feeling some stress about it already!! Life is sometimes so exciting!!! It’s strange how much there is to plan!!!!

Sparkle!!! It’s all about the sparkle you have, and the sparkle you get when you get the do the things you love, or plan the wedding of your dreams!!!! Ok I’ve been informed by my mom that what I want is bling not sparkle! Lol! I love it!!! Bling is wonderful!! I’m so excited to be getting a new last name and becoming part of my fiancés family more then I already am!!!

There is so much to do!! So much to do, from dresses to flowers, reception to honeymoon, so many plans to make! I’ve been planning since my fiancé proposed!! Lol! All the thoughts that have floated through my head!!! Trying to get everything straight, good thing there’s lists out there!! We’ve set a date! It’s my father-in-laws birthday, he gets to watch from his special seat in heaven, while we walk down the aisle. Well while I walk down the aisle and my fiancé stands at the front waiting for us!!

Not quite sure which flowers I am going to use yet! Luckily I’ve got a few months of planning before the actual wedding happens! I’m so ready to be married to my fiancé he’s my rock, my love, he supports and love me. And I just hope I make him half as happy as he makes me!!

Well for now I’m glad you’re reading this! And please keep reading!!

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Celebrating Life!

Today is a day of celebrations!!! Little does my boyfriend know how much thought and time has gone into tonight for him… I’m so excited! I had a hard time going to sleep last night because of it!!! He is the love of my life!!! My boyfriend is amazing, wonderful, and he is my sunshine!!! I’ve been sneaking around this week with his mom… It’s been so hard because I lied to him about no I was with yesterday… And it’s even funnier that his mom was lying also to cover up what we did, since we went and made him a cake Friday at this new place that Duff Goldman opened in West Hollywood called Duff’s Cakemix!!! It was so much fun!!! Here’s our result!!

It’s not perfect by any means but it was so much fun to do!!! We had such a wonderful time and got to spend seem girl time too! I know his mom hasn’t had a lot of girl time because she had boys! Lol! I love my boyfriend and I love his family! They are good people! They are so much fun! And they except me as I am… Which is one of the most amazing things in the world! Accepting yourself can be the hardest thing in the world and it feels so good when someone else completely accepts you!!!

Being happy, bright, carefree, loving yourself and life, is a wonderful thing that you can do… It takes time and that time is now. When else are you going to live your life brightly and love the one you’re with?? When else are you going to take life by the horns and say I’m doing this whether you like it or not!! I really ask these things more to myself then anyone else… I’m not living my life to the fullest, I’m not doing what I need to do to grab onto my life… But to celebrate life is something we all do everyday whether you realize it or not. Everyday we all wake up to the sun, or clouds, or rain, or the darkness in the early morning. Everyday is a blessing!

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Create Your Dreams

I love what this says about dreams, creating a dream is one of the hardest things ever! You have to figure out what your dream is, you have to find out how to make your dreams come. There are so many choices we can make in life, there are so many dreams that we all have… Life is an amazing journey that we all take, while we figure out the best life for us. And the best way to live our life with our dreams coming true! When you can have a dream then you can make things happen, and have it become a dream job…

These five things are such easy things to think and such hard things to do… Betting on yourself can be redundant, when you believe in yourself your betting on yourself to succeed. Leading your life is a hard thing to do, when you expect to just accept and go along with life, you’re not living your dreams. If you don’t love what you do then you’re not doing what you love… Loving what you do is so important, if you can’t love what you do then you’re not fulfilling your dreams. Comparing you’re self to someone else is one of the most hurtful things we can do to ourselves. I see the girls who are doing more then I am with my Mary Kay, and succeeding more then I am. Then I compare myself to them and what I’m not doing yet and it gets me down. I know comparing myself to them doesn’t do anything for me, but it doesn’t mean I don’t do it all the time. Believing in the future, that’s an amazing thing we can do, when others don’t understand us and what our dreams may hold.

I don’t know about you, but I believe in magic of life and the magic of dreams! I know my dreams haven’t come true yet, my wedding, my kids, my house, my making Mary Kay work for me so I can be home and it won’t be a problem. I dream about making enough money to pay for our rent a few times a year, even half the year would be wonderful!!! And that would take so much pressure off my boyfriend and his feelings for money. It would just help life in general, I know money doesn’t buy you happiness, but it can give you options.

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