UGH !!

Sometimes I feel like I was destined to fail whatever I do…I feel like I’ve got the ambition without the drive, which doesn’t help me accomplish what I need and want to… I feel like giving up in the morning and yet before I go to bed at night and try to sleep,  my mind is going a million miles an hour and then I think of all the things I can and need to do to get my butt in gear! My dreams I can be built, my dreams can be achieved, my dreams I need to believe in so I can make them happen… Mary Kay tells us the bigger and more detailed your dreams the better! I have a dream of a 4 bedroom house, a car that’s sporty and fun to drive, and marrying my boyfriend, and eventually two kids, oh and shoes! (I’m such a girl) LOL!

Honestly if I had enough money I’d have my dream wedding at Disneyland, at this point I don’t think that will happen but I can totally see it happening in my dreams! Walt Disney was an amazing man who knew what he was talking about and what he was saying when he stated the words above! What would we all be today without Disneyland?? Would it be called Wally World like in National Lampoon’s Vacation?? I mean I know it was really Magic Mountian but at the same time I hope you see my point! There wouldn’t be the a “happiest place on earth” if Walt Disney had given up!

All these amazing people to be an inspiration to all of us to look up too!! Starbucks I swear there’s one on almost every corner in LA (ok maybe an exaggeration but it seems that way) I know they all had huge obstacles they had to overcome!!! I don’t have those obstacles like they all did I just have myself that is being my road block, me, myself and I. That is my obstacle!!! One thing for me to hurdle, my fear. My fear of failure, my fear of rejection, my fear of no one wanting to be around me. There are so many life fears that we all have, my fear of not getting married, my fear of losing everything that I want so badly!!!

And then there’s this amazing woman who came along and believes that all women are amazing and beautiful! If there is ever anyone to admire it would be her! I never realized how amazing she really was until I joined her company there’s so much that they offer the women who are willing to work and put their all into it!!! I’ve made up my mind to put my all into it, and then I don’t and that doesn’t get anything accomplished that I want too! I’ve got so much I want to get done, so much that I dream about!! I need to push myself!!! Work harder then I have before and get off my butt!!!

Apology

I owe an apology to those who have believed in me and my skills as a person. I haven’t been trying the way that I should be… I need to try harder and get things going so I can get my life into the better place I want and need it to be. I have a hard time believing I can accomplish what I need too! my heart says I can do it, but my head says I can’t so instead of letting my heart inspire me I let my head rule my heart.

If I knew that I couldn’t fail what I want to do then I would be jumping in head first!! Do you know what could be accomplished if I couldn’t fail! What we all could accomplish if we couldn’t fail??? There’s so many sayings that have been meaningful to me but they haven’t gotten me where I want and need to be, I want so much and I’ve got dreams but I don’t know how to put my dreams on paper to get some action going to get myself to my dreams.

I feel like my dreams are big for me but maybe they aren’t as big as they need to be, because they don’t scare me and force me to try harder to reach them but that comes back again to the whole motivation thing also… I know what I dream about getting married to my boyfriend, having babies, getting a house, driving a better car… My dreams are simple I feel like they aren’t big enough, I don’t go into detail about my dreams, I never really have maybe I need to go into more detail.

I know there’s a saying that I found it is “Alis Volat Propriis” and it means “She flies with her own wings”. I’ve got to learn to fly with my wings instead of trying to depend of someone elses wings. I need to get myself going and I keep saying that but it’s true! Getting out of the house tomorrow and talking to potential clients will help in the long run I can’t come home without talking to at least 15 women! I’ve got to hold myself accountable and get these things done!

This is my goal tomorrow! I’ve to to get it together!! I’ll let you all know how that works for me!!!

Motivation

Words to ponder as I think of my lack of motivation, yes I want things, do I know what I want yes, can I get it with doing my own business? That’s the thing that is holding me back on top of the fact that I’ve got fear and I need to remember that fear isn’t going to get me where I want to be in my life and with my business. I need to stand up and put myself out there, I have small goals that I need to fulfill I need to start writing my goals down and making them happen! I don’t make things happen the way I wanted to last month it’s already August and I’ve got to get myself moving! August is half way over already!  I’ve got to get my butt moving and shaking, tomorrow I keep saying and tomorrow was here yesterday!
Keeping myself going and getting my goals in order and keeping myself accounted for is not an easy thing for me… I’ve got plenty of reasons to be motivated but I’m never really going where I want to go when I’m unmotivated, I’ve gotten myself started. But I’ve got to wake up and get going instead of laying in bed waking up slowly. I’m the one who’s holding me back. I can’t keep holding me back because that doesn’t get me where I want to go!

Remember

The one thing that gets me are all these amazing saying that I need to remember about myself, being myself and believing I can do things is a very hard thing for me. I know in my heart that I can do the things I want to, but when it comes to do things my head tells me I can’t. I know that a lot of people go through this and it doesn’t help me accomplish what I want and need to in my life, holding myself accountable has never been easy for me, getting my head into the mind set of a business owner is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’ve been lucky in most of my jobs they’ve all seem to have been handed to me with the last one that I had. I want so much more in my life. I want to move forward with my life, I want to enjoy doing wonderful things in my life and not have to worry if I’m getting paid or not.

Mary Kay is my adventure, Mary Kay is the most inspiring woman that I’ve ever know about, learning to love myself and learning to love women hasn’t been something I would even have considered doing ever. Women can be scary creatures, and please don’t get me wrong I know we aren’t really creatures, but we can be scar, crazy, weird, fun, sad, strange and amazing when you look at someone like Mary Kay was.

I like to think that I’m a generous, loving, helpful supportive person for those who know me, but stepping outside of my comfort zone and talking to women I don’t know is very scary. I want to be where that magic is! I’ve got to get out of my comfort zone! I’ve got wonderful things planned for my life, I’ve got dreams I want to happen. I feel like sometimes I dream to much, and yet with Mary Kay they always tell us to dream bigger and more in depth then I’ve ever dreamed before!  I need to remember to dream bigger, better, and more in depth!

Hello world!

Today is the day that I decided to start a blog, I need to hold myself more responsible for my daily actions and what I want to accomplish throughout my life and for my business, I started a Mary Kay business and haven’t taken the time to make it the business what I want. I can’t help but wonder what things would be different in my life if I had decided to do this business 10 years ago when I rejected it when it came my way. I don’t know if things would’ve been different or if I am much better doing things now rather than when I was introduced to the company 10+ years ago. I know what I’ve chosen to do with Mary Kay won’t make my life easy, I love when things are easy for me but I know that a challenge is the best way for me to build more of my character and my life. Someone who reads this might see my title in about bee-a-inspiration I did spell it that way on purpose, my name means honeybee and Mary Kay believed in making women’s lives better and the bee was an important symbol to her, I would love to follow in her footsteps making someone elses life better besides mine. Sometimes I feel like I’m to scared to do what I need to do, then I remember that taking a step out of your comfort zone will make your day and your life better and better. 

Wish me luck!!

I am trying this for a time and trying to make myself more accountable to me since it’s a new day tomorrow.

All I can say is bring on the day!

Lets get this done!